So a social worker just dropped off a new placement... now what?! 

 You don't know the kids, and they don't know you. 

The first night of foster care is often a blend of excitement and apprehension for both the foster family and the child. It's a time of transition and adjustment, where the child navigates a new environment and the foster family learns about the child's needs. It's important to be prepared for potential challenges and to create a welcoming and supportive environment. 

Here's some things that will help you make the first night more comfortable:

• Ask "Are you hungry?" Kids who are hungry might be too afraid to ask for food from someone they don't know.

• Ask about foods they like and make a list to buy things they are used to. It may not be worth your time and energy to try to change all their habits in the first week or two.

• Give them a tour of your house.

• Give them a special place to keep their things so that no one will touch. But...keep a plastic tub ready for all clothes and other items brought in your home.  

• House rules can wait, but do give instructions for bathroom at night, what to do if he/she gets scared or needs you during the night, your room location, and what to expect the next morning..

• Give your child a comforting item like a stuffed animal or cozy blanket if he/she did not bring anything with him/her.

• Suggest a bath or shower for the first night if your child does not seem overwhelmed.

• Focus on safety (if needed). Show the child the doors are locked, an alarm has been turned on (if applicable), and talk about how safety is a priority for you.  

• Ask if nightlights are needed and ask the child where they would like you to put them.

• Ask if they prefer the door of the bedroom open or closed.

• Leave a nonperishable snack or two and a bottle of water (if age appropriate).

• Ask if they would like to talk about your home, their family, or feelings they are having.

• Ask if you could read a story with the child and/or say a prayer with them before bed.

Other things to expect on the first night and beyond: 

For the Foster Family:

• Be Prepared for Overwhelm: The first night can be emotionally challenging for both the foster family and the child. It's important to acknowledge your own feelings of nervousness, confusion, and excitement. 

• Have a Plan: Consider creating a basket of essentials for the child, including snacks, pajamas, and comfort items. 

• Focus on Safety and Comfort: Ensure the child's bedroom is safe and welcoming. Provide a nightlight, consider their preferences for blankets, pillows, and sleepwear. 

• Establish a Routine: Even a simple bedtime routine can help the child feel more secure. This could include a bath or shower, brushing teeth, and reading a story. 

• Be Empathetic: Recognize that the child is likely feeling scared, sad, or confused. Be prepared to offer comfort and reassurance.

• Allow Alone Time: Don't feel pressured to ask too many questions right away. Give the child time to adjust to their new surroundings and build trust. 

• Prepare for Questions: Children may have questions about the family, pets, and their new routine. Be patient and understanding. 

• Focus on Building Trust: Foster care is about building a strong and supportive relationship with the child. Make an effort to connect with them and show them that you care. 

• Consider External Support: Reach out to a support group or counselor for foster parents to help you navigate the challenges of foster care. 

For the Child:

• Expect a New Environment: The first night will likely be different from the child's previous home. They may be feeling anxious about the change. 

• Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help: Encourage the child to ask questions or share their feelings. Let them know that you are there for them. 

• Embrace Routines: Routines can provide a sense of security and predictability. Help the child adapt to the new routines as you can. 

• Find Comfort Items: If possible, allow the child to bring comfort items from their previous home. These can help them feel more connected to their past. 

• Be Patient: It takes time for a child to adjust to a new home. Be patient with the child and allow them to process their feelings. 

• Express Your Feelings: It's okay for the child to feel a range of emotions during this transition. Let them know it's okay to feel scared, sad, or confused. 

• Focus on the Positive: Highlight the positive aspects of their new home and the opportunities it provides. 

• Remember to Laugh: Find moments to connect with the child and share some laughter.